Tips to Identify Abusive Relationships

Domestic violence and abuse are common occurrences, and can happen to anyone, no matter the age, gender, size, or strength. Too often the problem is minimized, or overlooked entirely. Often this is because popular belief is that domestic violence is physical in nature, when the reality is psychological and emotional abuse can leave horrible, lasting scars.

The first step to fixing any abusive situation is to recognize the symptoms and warning signs. If you or someone you know is in a situation that matches several of the following characteristics, then please don’t hesitate to reach out to someone who can help. Whether this is a family member, friend, or a domestic violence hotline, there will always be people who are there to help.

Domestic abuse, of which domestic violence is a part, is used for only one purpose: control. Abusers will use whatever means they have available to them, whether it be physical strength, guilt, fear, shame, intimidation, or monetary control, to try to force you to behave in a particular way. The important thing to remember is that domestic abuse can affect anyone. Heterosexual couples, homosexual couples, newlyweds, elderly couples, and people of all ethnic backgrounds and economic levels. No one deserves to be treated as a second-class citizen.

Here are a few signs of abusive relationships. If multiples of these apply in your particular situation, it might be worth it to talk to a professional.

Do You:

• Feel fear directed towards your partner much or all of the time?
• Find yourself wondering if you’re the one who is crazy?
• Feel helpless or emotionally numb?
• Avoid certain conversation topics to avoid angering your partner?
• Believe that you deserve mistreatment?
• Feel you can never do anything right for your partner?

Does Your Partner:

• Yell at you or humiliate you?
• Place blame on you for their abusive behavior?
• See you as their property, rather than a person?
• Put down your accomplishments and opinions?
• Put you down and criticize you?
• Treat you badly enough that you’re embarrassed for others to see?

There are more clues to identifying abusive relationships. Please see the next entry for more tips, and how to handle potentially abusive relationships.

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